Journal of Words Not Spoken

I have no words anymore
just thoughts
little glimpses of what can be
of what should be
of what might have been
I have lived my life in the sense of lacking regret
feeling as if I have expressed it all
one way or the other
I let it all out
I remain transparent
I remain an open book
I have yet to be truly read
furthest away from any understanding
yet I keep going forward
never demanding
just living
or to be honest
There are parts of my life I wish to increase
affection and passion
so much that can be
much more than the current status
maybe there are some things
left to be said
perhaps I have some words
that are left in the air
I forgive you for your absence
While I do wish to find you again
it is more so for the other family that I have lacked
if I am to have siblings
I wish to know them
more importantly
I wish for my daughter to know them
for my sake
I learned my morality and how to be a man
without you
I learned how to accept responsibility
without you
I learned how to be a proper father
without advice from you
In the end
I will say thank you
I appreciate you more for not being there
Past love,
I am sorry and grateful for the trials we faced
I apologize for the hurt I caused
I am grateful for the growth you created
If there is anything right in this world
your happiness you gained from my failure
I am most grateful for that
whether I failed you on purpose
or by mistake
or simply by fate
I did care for you and always want you happy
I am in great appreciation
that it did happen
for you
I have said these things before
just putting them out there for the world
a few words to get off my chest
my continued story will tell the rest



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