I have always known a few things that I wanted to be

helper, father, husband, teacher and inspiration

the one who is not the fighter with his fists

the one who fights with his mind and with his heart

to change the opinion of others through understanding and guidance

just always wanted to be the light for someone else

since my life was filled with so much darkness itself

whether it is by the lack of memories due to tragedy

or the lack of a childhood due to neglect and favoritism

I always sought to move past it all and be something more

yet while I wished to shine a light on the world of others

the darkness of my own just kept growing more and more over

it can become a powerful beast

depression can be its’ own demon in your mind and heart

taking parts of your soul with it at times

that dark wish for freedom at the worst cost possible

sometimes felt like more freedom than the chains of living

but yet I stand still, fervent in my belief that love should be shown

even though I have went through painful heartache of my own

and still I live in it

for while I still love, as it is always said

you can do bad on your own

but that does not remove the love felt or love desired

all it truly represents is the acknowledgement of self

I deserve the happiness I desire

while I may be unhappy, depressed, downtrodden and stressed

I know I want better for myself and for that I am blessed

it is not enough to stay in a situation where you are unfulfilled

just to stand on a goal that has always been there

to be a father and a husband, helper and lover

should all be fulfilling by the reciprocity of knowing

that you also are truly being cared for

right now I can look at this table and know that my side does not come with much

there is a great deal of love, perseverance, and understanding and such

I will continue to bring more and add more as I progress towards a better goal

the goal of being the best I can be on my own

so that I may excel even more when my life is whole.


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