Mind of a Poet #30

The inside of my soul dies, to know what I said before as truth has come forward to be just that, and not a lie.  Not a fallacy that I dreamed up myself, not a instance of turmoil that I made up to make me feel better but exactly what I knew it to be in my heart.  Love and fear, running and pushing, change and destiny.  It saddens me to say, after hearing these words; I have nothing else to live for in life.  My hopes, dreams, aspirations, loves, wants, needs, and pleasures are all destroyed, desolate and immobilized by these few stanzas of pain and caring.  I have found the change that I so longed and searched for, the opening of a new chapter that I have desired since the conception of this person you now see in front of you, not the person that was born to my mother, but the person that was born from the darkness, fueled with the light, and shrouded in mystery for years and years.  I now know for sure, that I am a good man, and that I did meet my destiny face to face, fell in love without one touch of her hand and never looked back.  I did what most cannot do; I put all my heart, soul, faith, and dedication in a love that hadn’t even considered me.  It is these situations that you know and learn how strong faith is, patience is, I could’ve have waited years, even centuries to hear those words, and they would not have lost one bit of sweetness.  I do know that she won’t stay in my life for a lifetime, my task in her life is done, I opened her eyes, her heart, her soul, and now she has taken that leap with someone else.  I know I will remain alone, because it takes someone special, very special to entice me fully, to make me want to commit my all to them, and more importantly, for them to accept my all and me with all my flaws and coldness.  In all respects, I will never have a humanly companion, my animals will be my family, my poetry will be my love, my teaching will become my passion, and my tears will always be my words.  My fate has surely been sealed with her stanzas and words, I cannot escape what I already knew to be true, do not pity me, do not sigh for me, I need it not.  Do not breathe my name, do not whisper my essence, you need it not.  You have come to stay for the moments only you wish for, you no longer have the intuition to stay for me, no one ever has, and no one will.  I do not stay for myself, I am here against my own will, to be given a gift that many ask for during so many trying times, and yet I wish it not.  As mighty and powerful as my Lord is, he will yet allow me to keep this strength he gave me, and not drain me of his power so that I may rest.  I do not wish to go this path alone, but I have no choice in the matter, for as the Lord gave me this blessing, he also wants me to welcome it with open arms.  There is such a thing as too much strength, being too strong, being too hard, too cold, too dark.  Lord we have attained many goals all with the same basic purpose, to help one of your children, to teach them what I know even if it far beyond my years.  My angel you have blessed me, the deepest hole in the galaxy wouldn’t compare to the depth to which my soul feels fulfilled and yet emptied all in the same swift motion.  I thank you, and now leave you, someone will replace me, he will resemble me, but he will not be the one you know.


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