True Worth

This is not usually my way of approaching self

self-reflection to be precise, I usually play it left

left up to those who watch and wonder and I stand

stand ready and steady, remaining humble yet heavy

weighed down by the world and the inconsistency of love

truth be told this will be the last said on this story of old

cutting out all the nonsense, I was too expensive for you from the start

a great man with an even bigger heart, you reached out to me in need

I stood up because I believed you to be a Queen

not the pauper you really turned out to be

morally bankrupt and over drafting life on lack of understanding fees

more selfish ambition and pride shown than comfort and nurturing known

is this not what we men look for in a womanly companion

that softness that we do not started we need, yet our heart craves

but here I am, being brave

stepping out on faith, stepping out on love, yet falling down crashing, no grace

no peace at home, no peace of mind

no rest at home, and exhausted state of mind

constantly in peril whether you acknowledged it or not

took the blade touching to skin before a little reality knocked

on your front door and even then you shut it out again and again

I apologize for the memories you will have on that day, I hope they end

with my exit from your life that you should have accepted at first

see I was already too expensive for you, you never could match my worth

and even once I left and had nothing, I had my resolve

to build myself up even better and I have been doing that all

without you around for I informed you, I have no need for your presence

what you fail to realize is that God gave you me as a present

for the present, past and future, for you to be able to grow in understanding

empathy and love

not for you to destroy bonds, relationships, and the optimism of trust

so even now while I have matured even more in my day-to-day dealings

your speech is just the same as when you were my reason for wishing

I was not among the living

yet you think I am always the problem, always the one to blame

remember this when you speak of my name

you came to me each time again and again

I have left you multiple times over, you love this repetition

for even in the beginning despite the way the bills folded

I was already too expensive for you, my work has always been shown

I tried to be there for someone who would only drain my life

because no matter what else, she would never accept that I could be right

right in the fact that I have so much to try to help out

from the beginning I saw more in you

your first response was to shut me out

my work has never been recognized by you

truth is, I do not believe you can see it

and that is why the end is here and now

it is done, period.


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