The Sunset

It goes without saying that I stand by my feelings, whether accepted or not, whether understood or disregarded, I feel no need to backtrack or retract.  I have no desire to denounce what I stated as truth, I stand by that truth and move on to what is present in the now.  No need to delete, my healing will continue even if her face I see.  It is impossible to heal from what you will not claim, hiding it behind a facade is just the step of denial.  Accept all of the bad that has occurred and relish in the good, confront, analyze, evaluate, reflect upon self, all to heal and nurture yourself to reach the peace you seek.

To date it was the most powerful form of love I encountered, most potential in the future and greatest feeling while in her presence.  This was never a lie for me.

I cherished her, adored her, admired her and love her with all that I am, every fiber, every breath, every moment of existence enveloped in my love for her.  While never a perfect individual, I moved with intentions of positivity, forward progress in all endeavors, I moved more to curry favor.  Yet I was pushed away, for the same reasons I was brought closer, the things loved once became hated, I ended up being seen as something my actions did not show. Yet love remained…

People think that it is best to continue to use someone despite their treatment of you, push you away, throw salt on your wounds, spread dirt on your name, and because you love them, you should stand, take all they want you to take, give all they want you to give, continue to die internally but externally for them you live.  My pain was stated, it was known, it was expressed and shown and also disregarded, dismissed, irritated, treated as a nuisance yet I was to believe words over actions.  Words not backed up yet contradicted.  Still love remained…

Must keep a smile, crying tears in my mind for children that were never mine, maybe not meant to be in the first place, their faces I miss, their smiles and laughs, the joy I found with them as a whole, a passion I will miss and that pain will last a while.  Sweet voices of concern, of intrigue, of excitement and joy at seeing my face, knowing I was there to keep them safe, my love for them will remain in this place.

The love I feel is real, no past tense needed, the love still remains yet more understanding has arose as well.  Understanding that respect is needed, yet missing, empathy is required yet empty, forward progress needs many factors, none present at the time so love will remain in my heart yet apart.

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